Exercise Epiphany

I did not fare nearly as well this week in keeping my daily dates with Jillian – and honestly, I was setting myself up to fail by thinking that I could.  It was an extremely busy week, and thinking that I could fit in a workout every day was just silly.  I managed 3 sessions of the shred and several shorter walks, and that was about it.  And probably, I should view that as a success, all things considered.

I had an “exercise epiphany” on Saturday.  Saturday was the last of the crazy days – I had to work in the morning, rush around shopping in the afternoon getting father’s day gifts, and then work again in the evening.  I was completely stressing out as to how I would fit in my workout.  And then – it hit me – exercise should be something that reduces stress, not increases it.  I work out because it makes me feel good – both mentally and physically, and keeps me healthy.  But if fitting in exercise is increasing my stress levels instead of alleviating them, then I should probably take a rain check on the workout.  We have so many irons in the fire around here right now – it is the busy time for work, we’re finalizing the details on buying a house, planning to move, figuring out how to rent our house, and raising two boys under two.  If I skip a workout here and there, it certainly isn’t the end of the world, and I really need to keep that in perspective.  Mental health is just as important as physical health, and I shouldn’t sacrifice one for the other!

So…all that said, I still lost a bit of weight this week, and am fitting into more of my clothes, some of them even comfortably!  I’m getting close to rocking most of my cute summer skirts (and am thinking I should just pack away the cute little T-shirts for this year – because really, the ribcage probably isn’t going to be shrinking up all that fast, and with nursing I will continue to be more well endowed than normal at least through the summer.)

Goals for the next week – PERSPECTIVE!  Oh, yeah, and I’ll eat more veggies.  It was a PB & J and protein bar kind of week – time for more fresh food.  I just made two massive salads – a pasta/veggie salad and my corn, edamame, and carrot ginger salad, to help make it easier.

It’s all Relative

I would consider myself a morning person – I’m most productive right after I get up. This morning, I managed to do a bit of fun internet surfing, get dinner made (thank-you crock pot!  and thank-you to Mama Pea for the spicy African Stew recipe!), lunches packed, kitchen cleaned up, clean clothes folded and put away, shower taken, and myself and baby dressed all before 8 a.m.  I was feeling pretty accomplished, till I remembered that just a few short months ago I would have done all of the above, PLUS a morning workout.

Aah, life without the morning workout.  Although I’ve missed the exercise endorphins, I haven’t missed dreading getting out of bed in the morning.  I haven’t missed dragging myself up, stumbling to find clean socks and a sports bra, and then rubbing my bleary eyes to get used to the glow of the TV as the chipper, toned ladies start to take me through the routine.  I haven’t missed *needing* to take a shower every day.  My afternoon walks have been such a pleasant substitute, and instead I spend the first few minutes of my morning enjoying “me” time – coffee, book, magazine, or computer time …before I start the daily routine.

Mornings have become pleasant.  I now look forward to getting out of bed, because I get to do what I want for a few minutes, without a husband or toddler to pander to.  I get my alone time…sans sweaty workout.  And although right now I cannot even fathom how a new bub will change our routine, I can see that convincing myself to re-institute the morning workout isn’t going to be easy.

Pregnant…on a bike

My husband and I are having a debate.  I hopped on my townie bike today (one of those granny-style bikes) to go pick Austin up from daycare.  I would have walked, but it is about 1 3/4 miles and I had less than a half hour to get there – just not possible in my waddling state.  I walk or bike whenever possible to fetch the bub – it is good for me, he likes it, and saves us the gas money.

Like I said, my bike is very granny-like.  I sit completely upright, feel very balanced, and with the trailer behind me, feel like I would have to work pretty hard to tip over.  Also, the entire ride is on either the bike trail, very slow and quiet streets, or sidewalks.  Not an ounce of it is “in traffic” and there are no hills, blind spots, or places where you would have a chance of needing to ride on anything but flat pavement.  So no problem right?

He seems to think I’m being crazy, and I just don’t agree.  If I thought for a second I was putting the bub in danger, I wouldn’t bike, but nothing about it feels wrong.  My doctor even said it was OK as long as I felt stable…which I do.  I rode my bike right up to the day I gave birth to Austin!

Granted, I’m a bit bigger this time, but still not as big as most poor pregnant women get – I still have an “innie,” and had a few people who see me monthly just figure it out in the past few weeks (although I think they just win the “not very observant” award).  And biking feels SO good…it stretches my legs and gives me that “wind in my face” feeling that I love – all while probably moving at a top speed of 8 mph.  After a walk, my hips and lower back are sore, and I don’t get that after a bike.  Don’t the benefits of a bit of exercise outweigh the slight risk?

Put your feet up…

I have a confession to make – I’ve stopped exercising.  Mind you, I have (in my mind, anyhow…) a good excuse, but I have officially stowed my (very tight!) sports bras and sports socks away till after the baby comes to visit, and I’m totally OK with this decision.

All through my pregnancy with Austin, and for most of this one as well, I was diligent about getting my sweat on 4-5 days per week, be it through videos and DVDs at home, biking, XC skiing, snowshoeing, or walking.  I’m sure this was part of the reason I didn’t blow myself out during pregnancy #1 (I squeaked by only gaining 24 lbs, which was probably gone after 2 months…and was totally one of those bitches who could squeeze into my (looser) pre-pregnancy jeans about a week after coming home).  And I maintained this same schedule, as much as I could, during this pregnancy.  But for the past two weeks, I SWEAR that my hips have been spreading.  I have this ache in both of my hips and lower back, and the more strenuously I move, the worse it gets.  It started after the first beautiful, sunny spring day we had this year.  Lyndon and I took Austin for a five-mile walk – which felt great!  Sunshine, warmth, skin exposed to the sunlight and taking in some vitamin D…but once we got home, I started to ache, and it has just gotten worse.  In the mornings, when I normally pop in a DVD and get moving, I can barely walk, and I just don’t think that lunges, squats, and step aerobics are going to improve my state.

Mind you, I’m still trying to keep myself on track by taking short walks here and there, stretching, and playing with a very active 19 month old, but for the first time in a really long time I have absolutely no guilt about resting my body, and it feels great!  Mornings are no longer a rush of get dressed – excercise – shower – make the baby breakfast and the hubby coffee – attempt to eat while drying hair and cleaning oatmeal off the floor…instead I can move at a leisurely pace, even check Facebook and blogs, enjoy my breakfast, and play with Austin.  It is liberating to give up the morning exercise guilt and just let me body concentrate on growing a healthy baby.  I only have a few weeks left before life takes a swing towards crazy, and I intend to savor every last moment of calm that I can!

Pregnancy Guilt

Mothers and guilt – the two are unfortunately intertwined together, often all too tightly.  Guilt looms around every corner – if you’re playing with your kids, the housework/dinner making/attention to spouse suffers, and vice versa.  Every choice is a trade-off, and with all that we lump on ourselves to accomplish, it is nearly impossible to have a guilt-free day.

Pregnancy guilt is another monster entirely.  I feel like, during normal circumstances, I know my body pretty well, and if I listen to it, then it treats me well.  We live in a happy harmony.  Pregnancy introduces so many tangents that I no longer feel like I can trust my instincts like I normally would.  Examples:

• Exercise.  I know I need to move, but I feel so tired.  Do I ignore the exhaustion to get a little movement in?  When I’m not knocked up, I know that exercise will energize me, but when pregnant I worry about taking it too far.  Also, I often have a sore back or hips.  Do I ignore this pain, knowing that it isn’t caused by my movements – rather, by a growing body inside my abdomen…and press on?  Or do I try to stretch and rest and leave my poor aching back be?
• Food.  I know I should be eating my “pregnancy diet” a-la “What to expect…” but the body wants what the body wants, and I practically gag at the sight of a salad.  My veggies have to be cooked within an inch of their life for me to stomach them, and I know that isn’t ideal.  And the other day, I was actually craving a hot dog – I NEVER eat hot dogs and pretty much think they are one of the world’s most disgusting foods.  Where did that come from?
• Time with hubby.  We run on fundamentally different schedules – I’m the morning person, he the night owl, but normally I can rally and stay up with him a few nights a week, ensuring we get some “quality time” in the evenings.  While pregnant?  Not so much.  Bring on the guilt.

For me, I actually think the guilt is the worst part of pregnancy.  (well, besides the awful maternity jeans that just don’t stay up, but that is another post entirely…).  I handle the getting bigger fairly well, seem to feel relatively decent for the most part, and I’m lucky enough to have good genes that allow me to escape (at least, so far – knock wood!) without stretch marks or a belly the size of Houston.   The hormone fluctuations aren’t a picnic either, but the guilt…oh the guilt…