Austin is out of control lately. Screaming, whining, fits, demands, rudeness…you name it, and he is probably doing it, provided it drives us nuts.
I understand this is an unfair assessment. On weekdays, I spend perhaps an hour with him in the morning and 2 1/2 in the evenings. Not exactly anyone’s best time of day, let alone a three year-old’s. But the weekend, when *gasp* I have to spend ALL DAY with my kid? He drives me bonkers. And it really bums me out.
Why is it that he spends FAR more time complaining about picking up the play-dough than it would ever take to clean it up? Why is it that he can only drink his milk if it is exactly 84.2 degrees – not, 83, not 85…but exactly 84.2. How is it that he can come up with 15 different excuses to come downstairs after we’ve put him to bed – and somehow they are all just a little bit valid?
I’m totally out of my league here. I try to be strict and set limits, and not flex those limits. I try to enforce consequences while at the same time being reasonable with my expectations. I do a fair bit of choosing my battles and remembering that he is only three. Heck – I’ve resorted to bribery. But all of this isn’t working.
So I did what any sane parent does – called up Amazon.com, and put every parenting book that was somewhat recommended into my cart. Except I don’t have $130 and the corresponding many hours of time to spend reading and learning how to parent my child. So I need recommendations – have a favorite? Any sage advice for a mom who hasn’t a clue how to “Parent my spirited child?”
More than anything, I’m feeling like a failure. Isn’t this supposed to come naturally? As freaked out as I was to bring home a new baby, I did feel like a lot of the “new mom” stuff just came – feeding needs, the “parenting sway,” the ability to know how to calm my babies…but this 3 year old stuff? Totally not my forte.
Equally depressing is my recent realization that as soon as Austin turns 4 – and I’m sure demonstrates an incredible increase in maturity – Wes will turn 3.
Oh $h!t.
Hi Janelle, I think that Austin and Will are cut from the same cloth, they even look alike!! Unfortunately I don’t have any magical advice and I am sure you are already doing everything right. The only thing I can offer is a light at the end of the tunnel in that if you just keep on going with the discipline and limits and being consistent the rewards do come eventually. I hate to tell you this but it has taken us a long time, but I can honestly say that Will is now about to turn 8 and has matured into a really lovely, well-behaved boy (most of the time) who has had perfect school reports both last year and this year. I don’t know if that makes you feel better or worse to let you know it might be years away (eek, I’ve been there) but as they say …. ‘it won’t happen overnight but it will happen’. It’s just the nature of these very high spirited little boys who take after their Daddys. I am told Matt was exactly the same and Austin sounds very similar to a little Lyndon I remember well! Good luck and a little bit of self medication in the form of a cool glass of wine in the evening is a strategy that helps! Amanda
ugh thanks for this glimpse into the future. good luck!